I was scrolling through Tik Tok when I was introduced to a new word--sonder. It was described as a “realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.” Although sonder isn’t technically a real word, I felt like I had reunited with something. I had always randomly thought of the complexities of other people’s lives but could never explain the feeling with a single word.
After that, our club’s weekly #factfriday post came up on my Instagram feed, saying that in 2018, 60,651 children and youth in Canada came forward to file violence-related police reports. For a moment I had stared blankly at the words on the screen, trying to register what that meant. Of course, I knew that child abuse was prevalent, but it never hit me as to just how many people’s lives had abuse as their reality. And that their reality was harsh, painful, and traumatizing. It made me wary of the number of strangers that I saw who were potentially experiencing a vivid and complex life filled not with happiness, but violence and cruelty constantly inflicted upon them. From now on, I take the time to be more aware of each stranger that passes through my life. Not to closely inspect them for signs of abuse or prod my way into knowing their past, but to simply treat each person with respect and kindness, because everyone’s lives are more complex than what meets the eye. I hope you will get the chance to be struck with sonder one day too.
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“In 2018, there were 60,651 child and youth victims (aged 17 and younger) of police-reported [family] violence in Canada. Of these victims, 57% were female and 43% were male.”
When I read this fact, it makes me reconsider how I treat children of different genders. A large portion of the male population is still affected by family violence. Do I let gender impact how protective I am over a child? I do and it has to change. I am often softer with girls as I assume that they must be handled with more care than boys. Safe spaces are often fostered for women to talk about their emotions. I have been able to process any life-impacting circumstances openly because our culture is accepting of women expressing their emotions and revealing their deepest fears. I personally have a great fear of losing those closest to my heart. Today, please ask yourself, are you creating that safe space for men as well? When a little boy cries, do you scold him for being too sensitive? These are things that I’ve grown up seeing and it’s been normalized in our society. In Canada, statistics show that a “larger proportion of sexual offence incidents remained not cleared for male victims of family violence than for their female counterparts (49% versus 43%)”. This is troubling as it creates more stress for male victims of sexual offences who want to speak up and find justice. When we create programs to help children and/or watch out for the safety of children, let’s be mindful that both genders are vulnerable. We’re responsible for raising both boys and girls. It takes a village to raise children of all genders. Let’s be better and advocate for BOTH our girls and boys. References: https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/85-002-x/2019001/article/00018/01-eng.htm If you have read our previous blogs and you are starting to feel the same sense of helplessness and rage towards the injustices of this world that often goes unnoticed, you are on the right track.
We need these negative emotions that are stirring inside us to fuel our drive to fight for change. We need to want desperately for these children's lives to be better than the circumstances they have no control over being in. So what do we do now? How can we fight? There are many ways to help. If you feel that you can only summon the courage to notify your supervisor when you notice that something is amiss regarding a child's behaviour or appearance, then do it. If you feel that you want to educate and inform more people about what child abuse is and what signs to look for, then do it. All of our efforts, regardless of its apparent impact, will make a difference. The Butterfly Effect, in simple terms, is the theory that one's small act can generate a larger change in the world. The idea that the flutter of a butterfly's wing can inspire a tornado on the other side of the world. As crazy as that sounds, I have the firm belief that we as humans have the same, if not greater, power to create a large impact. With that in mind, what will you choose? Will you choose to allow your eyes to drift across these words like another advertisement on the street? Or will you choose to dedicate even a small portion of your entire life's time doing SOMETHING to fight against children being abused? Their abusers will not wait for you. Their abusers will continue on each day abusing them. In fact, 5 children will have died because of child abuse on the day you stumble across this blog. 5 more will die because of child abuse the day after you read this and another 5 will die on the day after. So act now. Your actions CAN make a difference. |
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September 2020
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