What sort of world do I want to pass onto our children?
Recently, there have been three new additions to my family and so I am getting many little babies to spoil as an Aunty. It has filled me with great joy, but also an immense love in my heart. I would do anything for these kids. They are just babies, but I can already see their personalities shine through. One niece is a lot sweeter and affectionate, so she loves to be held all day. The other one already wants to jump and run, so he spends his day kicking his legs in an attempt to be active. The last one loves to sleep and will pout to no end if she’s awoken. It worries me that they may enter a dangerous world where they could be hurt. When I think about the statistic that “one in three adults admit to having been abused as a child,” I now stare at the 3 new additions to my family differently. Let’s keep fighting. Sometimes I become so desensitized to numbers because I read and hear about them all the time. However, when it may affect a loved one, it only takes one person in your life for you to be propelled into action.
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When I was asked to write a blog post for CASUA, I pondered over what exactly I should write about.
I could talk about the shocking statistics regarding child abuse or simply feed you facts. You would hear my words but you might not listen. Instead, I will tell you some of the mistakes I’ve regretted most. Before we talk about my mistakes, however, let’s first consider global warming as a concept talked about starting from elementary. After learning about global warming, we go home energized to make our parents start recycling. We run to bottle depots and feel accomplished thinking that our efforts helped the environment become greener. We grow up filled with the determination to race to protests against government policies that do not take environmental preservation into consideration. All our lives, we run towards fighting against global problems like global warming because that is what we have been taught. For most, however, our circumstances prevent us from focusing on anything else aside from running away from what we fear. I was volunteering for a summer camp. There was a young boy who no one could figure out. He always seemed to be running away whenever we asked him to follow us. For some reason, he wore long sleeves even when it was scorching hot outside. One day, I grabbed his arm to get his attention and noticed his wince. I pulled his sleeve back much to his reluctance and saw the scattered bruises colouring his arm. Perhaps it was due to him being a kid and getting bruised easily just like we all did in childhood, but everything about his bruises just looked wrong. I went home that night and cried myself to sleep. I did not know what to do. As a 13-year-old, I was a coward. I was terrified of what I saw and helpless as to what I could do. I ran away from my fear just like he ran away from us. To him, we were authority figures--people that he had learned to fear. To this day, I look back and still regret my lack of action. Several days into high school, I made some new friends. While having a deep conversation with one of them, they suddenly tell me that their personality is distorted as they have been sexually and physically abused by their own family members. I tell them that I'm sorry to hear what they go through. After that conversation, we end up never speaking again. Again, I ran away. I was scared of the truth presented to me. When someone tells you that, what could you even say? In the middle of grade 12, I sit in a car with a close friend while they tell me that their father assaults their mother in front of them to the point where emergency assistance is required. I can only sit there numbly and nod. As I leave the car, the door slamming shut is the echo I find myself falling asleep to long after. These moments in my life where someone subconsciously needed help or directly asked for support and I did not provide either will continue to haunt me for the rest of my life. As humans, we seek happiness. We crave light and avoid moments where we face the darkness. In fact, the theme for this pandemic appears to be society’s efforts in revealing the shadows of humanity into the face of light. At the crux of the dark and finally uncovered truth, we learn that humans have compassion and kindness in their souls and want change for the better. When I wrote this blog, I figured it's time I brought my own regrets to light, so that my efforts to be better and do more will hopefully invoke others to face their own dark truths and seek transformation. I am now sprinting with my efforts to fight for the children who live in fear and those who were children and had to live in fear. I owe it to the friends I left and I owe it to the little boy whom I could not save. Safety is priceless. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, before we can attend to other things such as our goals, we first need to meet our physiological needs and our need for safety. Growing up, if I was too hungry, I couldn’t think about anything but my growling stomach. If I felt terrified, my body’s energy was spent shaking out the fear that pent up inside of me.
Everyone has a limited amount of energy to expend. Children may not understand why matters like neglect are abusive, but we can see it in the effects it has on them. One tends to do more poorly in school if they are hungry, without a bed at night, or feeling unsettled by their homes. This may seem like common sense, but this should not be a common truth shared by many children at home. According to Statistics Canada, just under one-third of Canadians report experiencing childhood physical and/or sexual abuse. To me, this implies that in my old elementary classes, 10 out of 30 of us had gone through something no child should have to. We can do more for our future. It starts with answering the questions you may have such as “How?” or “Why?” Please read through how to identify signs of child abuse here: https://www.zebracentre.ca/blog/2019/8/7/recognizing-red-flags-of-child-abuse Read this to understand how COVID-19 impacts child abuse: https://www.google.ca/amp/s/globalnews.ca/news/6877706/child-abuse-reporting-covid-19-alberta/amp/ I urge you to move forward with action. Everyone you love was once a child too. |
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September 2020
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